the happy cactus

Ageing. The word conjures up numerous images of slow old men and women wrapped loosely in transparent saggy skin, deep cavernous wrinkles etched into the face, milky unseeing eyes, warped bulbous knuckles housing crooked fingers bowed from arthritis, and a sparse covering of thinning grey hair atop their age-spotted scalps. These visions come from a stage in my adolescence where I remember visiting my great-grandmother in a nursing home filled with the aged who had, it seemed, that they had been forgotten. In some ways, left silently to die alone; disconnected from society – neglected. The sweet smell of death permeated the air and lingered long enough to form a staleness that wrapped tightly around my throat during these visits. After each visitation, I was left feeling empty and scarred on a subterranean level; I did not want to age, not like this, ever.

The effects of aging are a natural and inevitable part of life, as it is with the animal and plant kingdom. As we age, our bodies and minds undergo various physiological and psychological changes. Physically, we may notice more wrinkles, a generous portion of greying hair, a reduction of muscle strength, decreased flexibility and movement, and generally that dreaded ‘middle-aged spread’ creeps up and refuses to budge. Our senses may become less sharp, and we might experience changes in metabolism and energy levels. Additionally, age-related health conditions such as cardiovascular disease, osteoporosis, or cognitive decline may become more prevalent. For us wonderful women, perimenopause suddenly appears, slowly incorporating each symptom as if to taunt us. And before we know it, peri turns into menopause and we try to remember when we last had a regular period.

Psychologically, ageing can bring wisdom, resilience, and a deeper understanding and zest for life. Afterall, we have a large bank of experiences in which to draw upon. We know what we like, what we detest and begin our next chapter with a new confidence (not for all, but majority). It can, however, it can also be accompanied by challenges such as adjusting to our new ‘mature look’, different life transitions, loss of loved ones, or changes in roles and responsibilities. As our children grow up, they leave home and become fully fledged adults ready to take on the world and this can create an emotional upheaval, particularly for the woman (speaking solely from my experiences as a mum). Our emotional well-being may fluctuate as we navigate these difficult (but happy) changes and find new ways to adapt to our new circumstances.

Despite these changes, it is important to recognize that with the ageing process, a big positive is that it offers opportunities for personal growth, self-reflection, and the cultivation of meaningful relationships; inclusive of partner, family and friendship. It is a time to celebrate the experiences and accomplishments of a lifetime and to embrace new interests, new friends, and new possibilities. Ageing has been a societal no-no, particularly so since social media swarmed and soaked every inch of our lives. Don’t get me wrong, ageing has been portrayed in the movies since movies began, but I feel it has taken a hugely negative turn with the introduction of social media.

While ageing presents its own unique set of challenges, it is imperative to be maintaining a healthy lifestyle, engaging in regular physical and mental exercise, cultivating social connections, and seeking support when needed. All this can contribute to overall well-being and longevity in our later stages of life. I am determined to make the most of my next fifty years. I am honoured to age as there are so many who do not have that privilege; particularly my darling mother who died at the young age of 32. Changing this mindset of ageing being a privilege, has altered my outlook astronomically.

Even though I am not the biggest fan of my body changes, I do look at how much my body and I have achieved together. And for that, I am full of gratitude, love and acceptance.