the happy cactus

Women ageing is a beautiful and complex journey marked by growth, wisdom, and resilience. If we can alter our perspective on ageing and accept it rather than dread, then we become more open to the idea of it being a privilege. As women age, we experience numerous physical changes all while navigating various life transitions, both personally and professionally. It’s a time to humbly embrace the unique beauty and inner strengths that present with each passing year.

Ageing women have the opportunity to redefine societal expectations, challenge stereotypes, and celebrate our life accomplishments. After all, we have accumulated so many life experiences that are peppered with positive and negative interactions with our relationships. I must admit it has proven challenging to shift my own perspective of what I think is socially acceptable for a woman of my statue. Whether it is how I outwardly look, how I am perceived by those around me in my work place, or how I should act according to my friendship groups or family structures. It can be overwhelming to constantly be in check with who I am supposed to be dependent on who surrounds me. When one is not encouraged to be themselves as a child, or you learn to morph into different characters in order to fit in or be invisible to escape your family dynamics, self-esteem takes a beating and confidence becomes a foreign word.

My self-esteem has always been a point of contention. I have always struggled with it, and perhaps I always will. Measuring up to those around me is exhausting. So why put this pressure on myself you my ask? Well, I would say it is almost rooted into the very fabric of my DNA via my childhood experiences. I can alter how I think thus reflecting on how I perceive myself. And yes, this is achievable. Consciously adjusting my thought patterns and embracing a growth mindset has helped. No matter how many times someone says positive things, it does not impact me compared to how I can impact myself. I need to continuously adjust my mental forcefield in order to allow positive thoughts in and similarly, modify how much I let them sit with me; as uncomfortable as they are. See, when you have had what seems a millennia of negative interactions, it becomes autonomous with how you respond. For me, emotions are like rubbing your teeth on a freshly washed towel, complete disdain. I am endeavouring to change that and with change, it is a slow and arduous journey that is fraught with one step forward and five steps back. Each day is a celebration for making it this far. I am adamant to be comfortable with myself one day.

Amidst this later stage of our life, this next chapter is a time to prioritise self-care, cultivate meaningful relationships (personally & professionally), and pursue personal passions and interests. Through self-acceptance and self-love, we can embrace the power and confidence that comes with maturity while continuing to make a positive impact in our lives and the world around us. Self-acceptance and self-love is being kind to oneself, showing grace and compassion to ourself. We wouldn’t dream of speaking to our friends the way we speak to ourselves – I most certainly wouldn’t!!

Accepting and embracing the effects of ageing as a natural part of the human experience allows us to live with grace, gratitude, and resilience as we continue to evolve and find joy in each new chapter.