the happy cactus

The season of Autumn has always been my most favourite of all the seasons. The others are just all tied for second. You have Summer – bastardly hot because we I live in Queensland, Australia. We swim, hang at the beach, late afternoon storms, more bbq’ing, sunrise is earlier and sunset later so much more sunlight hours, loads more outdoor activities but let’s be real, it is usually way too hot to do too much. Spring is beautiful as we are just waking up from the cold where in Queensland – we have about 4 days in Winter where it is considered cold by the world’s standards! Flowers bloom, creatures procreate and there are little versions of most animals. Cooler mornings and evenings, and beautiful warm days. You can hike again without fearing brown snakes and death by dehydration. Spring is endearing to my soul and for me, symbolises freshness and beginnings. Then there’s Winter; with her cool breezes, late sunrises and early sunsets so not much daylight. Her season ushers naked trees, a colour that elicits hibernation, outstanding sunrise/sunset cloud colours, bluest of blue skies, general outdoor goodness for hiking, small adventures and cafés with heaters. These are the months I really live for sleeping under a fan and snuggling under crisp warmth. My hair is never full of frizz from humidity so it sits where I tell it to, no questions asked.

We then circle around to my fav season – Autumn. Her cooler mornings and evenings, the colours producing a palette of browns, oranges, reds and yellows, her evening shades as the sun goes to bed evoke such happiness. The falling leaves that once boasted various shades of green slowly fade into death and cascade to the ground forming a pile of once proud clothing for the tree. You can almost feel a solemn exhalation of thankfulness and a readiness for silence.

Not all trees are deciduous and not all will lose their leaves, in fact the evergreens cling onto their green blankets. The ones I am intrigued by are the deciduous babes. When the leaves have reached maturity and the season has turned just right, their leaves slowly begin to die off. The term deciduous actually means ‘falling off at maturity’. There is a subtle shift in the air when it is right time. The green vibrant leaves slowly take on a duller look that eventually will morph into shades of yellow, orange reds and brown. The transition is over a period of time and unless you are intently watching, it can feel as though it happened over night.

Autumn is reflected in humans. We don’t age overnight. The process is slow and alters daily but it can appear to be a transition that one day we wake up and suddenly we are old, thrust headlong into maturity and before we know it, we are sporting the tinges of yellows, oranges and browns. To me, Autumn signifies change. It can seem that leafless trees are dead, stunned into nakedness without protection from the harsh elements such as wind, rain and cold. But what I love about this season is that outward appearances are very deceptive. These deciduous trees are not outwardly showing they are thriving, rather they are internally waiting for their time to bloom again. Silently, patiently, enduringly. If you could speak tree, I would imagine their monologue to the younger impatient tress would be ‘some seasons are where you grow and bloom, while others are for rest and recovery’.

The same could be said for humans. Our incessant race to always grow and bloom, to always have green leaves, pretty flowers, and always have plenty of shade is simply exhausting. The age where rest is considered lazy or apathetic is rife with misconceptions about the importance of taking a beat, taking a moment to stop, taking time to just be. I’ve reached my Autumn season. I’m not dying but I am in the final trimester of life. My last one. Not that my leaves are all falling off yet, I just turned 50!! What I am inferring is that this life, this one life we get, is going to end. You do get to a point of reflection to go ‘what have I done that has been significant for me and how do I want to live the rest of my life?’

My Autumn days will be spent doing what I want to do. Working takes up so much of our time, space and energy, and what do we get at the end? Superannuation that allows us to live a ‘free’ life and an old body that we are too exhausted to live because it begins to fall apart, more sickness, and being too afraid of stepping out of our comfort zones? See, Autumn isn’t intended to be the end. It is certainly not meant for growing a new body, but one of new leaves that sprout happiness in who you are; both personally and professionally. Whether that looks like travel (locally, nationally, or internationally), new interests, reshaping our mindsets from fixed to growth, welcoming in new friends, new experiences, or new job prospects. Taking that leap to start up your long ago dream of opening up a clothing range, photography business, or mentoring programs etc. Autumn is a safe haven for you to examine your next steps. Thank the falling leaves, marvel at the various shades and colours, and embrace who you are via the nakedness of just having your bare trunk and branches. It won’t be comfortable, in fact, you will most definitely feel like you are free falling and be the most vulnerable experience you will ever feel in your life. And as we all know, growth doesn’t happen in your comfort zone.

Autumn is not always a pretty sight. Not everyone likes scattered leaves covering the ground and bare trees that look half dead. If we can interpret this season as a redefining period to gather ourselves, rest, recover, and grow internally, then we can enter a new season with zest and a positive outlook. The fallen and discarded leaves are all our past moments, our past experiences, our past decisions we’ve made over the year. When everything has been stripped back to reveal our bare barked bodies, we can pick up what worked, dropped what didn’t, and prepare for what will be.

Always growing; always moving forward. Age strong.

Big love x